How to Fight against Haters

My Tuesday posts are always about building your personal life strategy inspired by military tactics. This week I'm jumping way ahead in my 'winning' series of articles due to events happening around me both on and offline. All of these events have to do with dealing with haters. Most of us are busy living our lives, minding our own business when out of the seemingly blue we get attacked by green monsters aka haters.

What is a decent hard working person to do?   How do you defend yourself from senseless attacks?

Source: media.photobucket.com via Letty on Pinterest

First, get it off your chest.

We are only human and that means we have real emotions. Your reaction can go across the spectrum from anger to frustration.

• Discuss your problem with a friend you can confide in.
• Write down your feelings into a journal,  note or letter to the perp.
• Scream into a pillow. If you need to toss around and kick the pillow, but get that negative energy out of your system.

Confrontation

Just as building a successful business or achieving success in every area of our lives requires action, we must take action to get the situation under control. Ignoring the problem achieves nothing. It's like witnessing a fire and not dialing 911. By confronting the person you have several advantages, for example the element of surprise.

Sometimes in work scenarios you get a jerk who likes to use the power of the position they hold to intimidate others. The ego maniac in the work place will not expect a reaction from a person not above them in the chain of command. Sometimes in school you get a bully that acts tough only when they're in front of a crowd but who are they when they are alone? Sometimes you find a jerk who thinks they can say whatever they want online with no consequences. The cyber bully thinks they can hide in the virtual world. And sometimes it's just a simple miscommunication.

I recommend a face to face meeting. It's too easy to say nasty things behind a computer or any other screen. It's also easy to misinterpret what someone else has written without the benefit of their emotional inflections or intonation.

Unaccompanied
 When you go to confront them, go unaccompanied and make sure they will be alone. If you go with other people the perpetrator can become defensive. If they are in front of other witnesses they will not be themselves.

Source: abunchofeverything.com via Letty on Pinterest

Attitude
Act civilized, you are obviously a special person with spectacular qualities that your hater envies. When you compromise your morals or values they have succeeded in turning you into something you are not and have no desire to be.

What to say
 Brainstorm what you are going to say. Bounce your ideas off someone intelligent whom you trust and practice.

Ask the Question
Your actions lead me to believe there is an unresolved issue between us that I am not aware of.
How can we resolve this and move on?
How can we come to a compromise?

Ending with a question forces them to verbalize a solution.

Most of the time, it turns out to be just a miscommunication. And the problem is quickly resolved. You can shake hands and continue with your business.


Here's a video I made using Xtranormal Movie Maker.
It was my first time and it only took a few minutes.


I used a childhood example in the video because that's exactly what I think of that type of behavior = childish.

This post will be continued next week when I will discuss what to do if the problem continues.


Have you been in a situation where you had to deal with a hater?
What did you do?


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Previous Posts on this topic:
Achieving your Bella Vida by Letty or Setting Yourself up to Win.
Objective
Tips for Setting Objectives
Analyzing Strengths & Weaknesses 
Resources